April 27, 2019 at 12:47 pm #4189
Only in This World ……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in This World …..do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
Only in This World …..do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters..
Only in This World ……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in This World ………..do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in This World …..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
Why is it that Doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why the roads we drive on are called “parkways” and where we park our cars is called a “driveway”?
May 1, 2019 at 1:26 pm #4306YohananModerator
May 1, 2019 at 2:03 pm #4307
I was going to say perhaps the inventor was colored blind.
But then I saw this facto … looks like you can blame the British “… the name “black box” came from a British government official, who in 1958 referred to it using W.W.II-era Air Force slang for subtle avionics. By the mid-1960s, flight-data and cockpit voice recorders were mandatory for commercial airplanes.Apr 5, 2014”
July 8, 2019 at 7:13 pm #6227Leaving SoonParticipant
Found some more questions that can only be answered after the Rapture. : )
Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why you have to click on “Start” to stop ‘Windows’?
Who tastes dog food when it has a “new & improved” flavor?
Why people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why your Obstetrician or Gynecologist leaves the room when you get undressed – if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why Goofy stands erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
Why the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, but can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
If blind people can see their dreams? Do they dream??
That if Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Why the “Alphabet Song” and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” have the same tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why it is when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
How come we put a man on the moon before realizing it would be a good idea to put wheels on suitcases?
Why brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells are forever?
How important someone has to be before they can be ‘assassinated’ rather than just plain ‘murdered’?
Why a round pizza gets delivered in a square box?
Why people pay to go up in tall buildings, and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why people say they “slept like a baby”, when babies normally wake up every two hours?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
What would the speed of lightning be if it didn’t zigzag?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but has to check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for “normal” people at the Special Olympics?
If you send someone ‘Styrofoam’, how do you pack it?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
July 9, 2019 at 10:56 am #6233
I’m laughing at
“why did Wile Coyote buy all that ACME crap and didn’t just buy dinner”
Well I don’t believe we have to wait for heaven to know that answer In NJ ironically we did have a grocery store called ACME and it was the most pitiful grocery store on the planet. The only edible items in that store were chips/pretzels/soda and “some” can goods. Their meat was always past their due dates and cold cut deli meat was dried out with a special crusty edge forming. Their ice cream was full of ice crystals and the “fresh” fruits and veggies were always bruised and on the borderline of being rotten. Sadly I think the only reason they stayed opened as long as they did was because there was a Senior housing apartments across the street and they were the ones who kept the store thriving …
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