Scarby Was Abducted Into A Space KRAFT-And Was Given A Miracle Whip! Get It!

Forums Just for fun / Laughter does the heart good Scarby Was Abducted Into A Space KRAFT-And Was Given A Miracle Whip! Get It!

Viewing 8 reply threads
  • Author
    • #2385
      Avatar photoScott

        Did anyone see the  Irony in the title ? ! You know the  salad dressing Miracle Whip made by the Kraft company and other food products-you know the  dressing  company–Oh forget it!!!

        Yes-it was  on a midnight some weeks ago that seemed longer then just  a handful of days -much like a week full of months vacant the holidays–yes it was a terrible and cold night and  Scarby was trying his best to stay  warm in  his  newly built doghouse-all made out of lego blocks!

        I had gone to sleep in the house  just a few meters away  and was beginning to have dreams about living in Florida without snow to wake up to every morning! Then all of a sudden I heard a loud swooshing sound  outside the moonlit window that was being washed out by a more brilliant light of red!

        When I got up to peek out the window I looked toward the yard which had Scarbys doghouse and saw  a Strange bright Kraft hovering above it with a ray of light coming down toward his entrance way–no! To my disappointment is wasn’t the  trash removal  truck-you see Scarby littered abundantly on the yard around his little bungalo and never picked up the debris – so much for conservation ?

        Well to make a long story shorter then it would be if it were told in the longer version  I will let Scarby tell the rest of his Adventure-it turns out that  a few hours later  Scarby was  deposited into a field down the street  and  crawled back home with his two back legs  stretched out and dragging limply behind him–must have been given novacaine in both hip sockets -no doubt!

        Scott: Scarby continue with the rest of the story–and keep it short!

        Scarby:   I can’t begin to tell you how  scared I was aboard that KRAFT! Now that I am home again—What’s for dinner?

        Scott:  Oh come on–You can elaborate just a little more for pete sake! Boy I sure didn’t adopt you for your brains!

        Scarby: Well as I was floating up to the  brightly lit KRAFT  I saw that  I needed to stay calm and just put all my faith in the Lord and not shrink back–Jack!  When I entered the  ship I was approached by two tall figures who had wings and they appeared angelic and were humming the tune  “Smoke on the Water”  -or something like that-but it was a catchy tune!

        Then I saw as one being stepped forward and handed me this  MIRACLE WHIP  and he told me to take it and use it on my back  so that I could stop those  terrible small mircroscopic creatures from  attacking  me as they do at all times–you know those dreded FLEAS!!

        He told me to say these words to those critters when I am attacked again. The command will be—FLEAS Release Me -Let Me Go!   For I Don’t Want You Anymore!

        Well That Is  the   Last Time I will have to get Bovine Intervention for my skin afflictions — The Space Craft was actually on its way to find a new cow victim to -you know-mutilate–but when I  told them the meat  is better  if you get it right off the grill at  the Steak-a-Saurus  Bar and Grill!

        So when I told them that the resturant was closing in about two hours–the trap door swung open in a flash and  down the shoot I slid   –fleas and all!!!

        The moral of this story is that if you are under any demonic attacks or under constant afflictions  you can call on the one who has the miracle whip and  He can whip those ills and  diseases into obedience to His word and you will come out on the other end of these trials with  a  spiritual growth spurt and a better grasp of wisdom on how God moves  in your life and  will see the bigger picture then just one small negative film frame!

      • #2399

          It was just last week or so, I had a dream that Scott was sitting in his livingroom, petting his little dog Scarby, getting his fingers all greasy from the dressing….  just then there were strains of a tune coming through his lanai screen windows…  I could just make out the tune… “May-o ‘ll your dreams come true”…  Scott turned & looked out the window… Scarby, too deep in his emoilients to bark, didn’t even look to see the happening….

          Somehow a musical drone was delivering a pizza to Scott’s backyard…  his most fervent wish – a ham & cheese pizza – with onions!   Oh what a delightful misgiving… a hot & tasty delight!

          All the ham & cheese Scott could ever have yearned for…

          Glad to see you back my long lost punny-ful  friend – indeed,  May-o ‘ll your dreams come true!  ♥

        • #2400

            Oh my goodness, Scott…”fleas release me – let me go.”  Such a fun post…hilarious!  Bless your heart…makes me think of “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.”  We need to laugh and laugh and laugh anymore in this crazy world!


            Loved your post too, Lev-nephesh…very funny!!!!

            Blessings, Elaine    :thankyou

          • #2424



              ohmy Scarbyyy and Scott!!!  Have missed you both!!!! :rose:

            • #2481
              Avatar photoScott

                Lev-nephesh -looks like I have a punster simese twin  –Love the May-o pun–I just put a little Stevia extract in it to sweeten it up!! Love  the emoilients   word–that is being added to my limited vocabulary-Scarby has only two words in his—LETS EAT!! You made me laugh real good!  Oinions were a misgiving–Scarby definitely went back into his lego dog house after that spicy LOUD and NOISY  pizza dinner–do you know what I mean by LOUD and NOISY –I think you do!!

                Cherished—Thanks for  making this thread a little less thread bare–I can’t stand to hear and echo in the room when I type  –maybe I should order pizza for everyone—but then they would come for the food and after they are done they   would not want to visit with  Scarby–maybe I could teach him how to perform magic tricks—just my luck  he meets another better magician in the group who puts him in a locked box and when it is opened again –he vanishes and we can’t ever find him anymore—-wait–just a minute-I need to get that guys phone number-can somebody find that man-just think all my worries would be over–no more flea bitten beast itching and  leaving oily stains on the carpet and baying at the moon almost every night until  the clouds fill the sky –wait a  minute –Scarby is  my insurance policy in case anything happens to him- I inherit  his grandfathers estate in Ireland  off the  shore of  nansucket bay–that is where I am going to retire to!!   Bless his heart–I love my good  good friend Scarby–hes a good old boy!! Yeah right!!

                Glorybound–Looks like we have another old beloved member that has rejoined the pack! Can’t get enough of the old crew in my living  room post arena!    Humor helped  me make it through some of my hardest trails in life -it also helps break the ice with strangers and  those I have encountered in my  travels  among those who are   ” rough around the edges” folk — But the folks here at Ritan are just “LIKE Butter!!”   hello fatha hello motha–I am stranded at camp Granada! Anybody remember that folk singer in the sixties who talked  in his songs-what was his name?!!



              • #2499

                  Okay, Scott ~~~~

                  Oh, and don’t be afraid to proceed with that pizza party.  Scarby is certain to love those yummy crusts found around the room after the party is over.

                • #2532
                  Avatar photoScott

                    MyWhiteStone—Great video-even though I do think they should have used  –MORE COW BELL!!!

                    Did he say-Lynard Skinnard– wasn’t that a country rock band of the 70s -way after the camp granada song?  Or maybe the band took the name from this little cheesy ditty!!  Not only was there a need for more cow bell–but where were the  flaming and soaring gutiars–Thankfully the British Invasion came along and enlightened  the modern rock era!!!

                    • #2536

                        No, Lynyrd Skynyrd was a Southern rock band who took its name from their high school principle. They converted all the vowels in his name to the letter “y”.

                    • #2575
                      Avatar photoScott

                        Thanks  Yohanan- that  is  the facts jack!  Where did this  chubby guy singer get that name from in the 60s? Were the Skynyrd band around at that time!!  He can’t be using rock royalty  like that in his lyrics without paying some royalities!!  Isn’t Lynard  Skynyrd  a christian band now-or at least some of the members–  I think I heard some of their testimonies  some time ago on a news program!!  Maybe  that was the rock group The  Leadbelly  Skydivers–or then again maybe that was the Irish punk rock Rap group  The Sham Rockers  Wreaking Crew!!   I guess I still got the old great  memories of the Wreaking Crew  on my mind— They were session players at Capitol Records Studio who pretty much  played instruments  on almost the main bulk of 60s music in the  United States!!  You can’t listen to an oldie goldie without hearing these  great artists on the records of our happy days!!

                        • #2602

                            Just coincidence that the guy referred to in the video was Leonard Skinner.

                            I know Gary Rossington, guitarist, became a Christian and it seems like a few other members did too, but I cannot verify that. Johnny Van Zant, Ronnie’s little brother who joined the band when they reformed, is too.  I was in high school in Georgia when the Skynyrd plane crashed and their music was a staple in my rock album collection.

                            • #2637

                                “…their music was a staple in my rock album collection.”

                                Just a wild thought here, Yohanan.  I could easily demonstrate how to bend a staple to make it look like a half note.

                                :wacko: :yes:

                                I know.  “Pin a rose on your nose, WhiteStone.”

                          • #2649
                            Avatar photoScott

                              Hey Yohanan–I found  a fun trivia website that  gave an answer  why allen sherman spoke of  the name  Lynard Skinner–it appears that he was  agym teach who this Allen singer had at the Robert E. lee  high  school–now thats a name on a school which is destined for  abolishment-since Robert E. Lee was the  confederate president of the succeeding states during the civil war!  Pro slavery of course! I might even favor that action  on banning of the name! But do we want to erase history all together?  I vote just racists!

                              Also it appears that this gym teacher had in his classroom a student by the  name of ronnie van zant who later  got  back at the treatment he was given by this strict  gym teacher by naming his band  after him!   Now if this is true-who knows for sure–all I know is I got it off this fun trivia website–maybe someone else can fill in the  extra  facts!

                          Viewing 8 reply threads
                          • The forum ‘Just for fun / Laughter does the heart good’ is closed to new topics and replies.